El Café

Four months ago, I was provided a brief instruction on coffee, with drawings. That sparked my palate. I began consuming cups at work, at my parents’ house, and samples provided at Trader Joe’s: all free. I enjoyed drinking coffee, but couldn’t fathom being a “coffee person,” the official title for anyone who pays for it.

I bought a glass straw to mitigate dental staining. Stainless steel straws are cheaper, but they could leach iron, the last thing my ornery bone marrow needs. I considered this small fixed cost an investment in my hygiene rather than a coffee expense. I retained my unwillingness to pay for coffee.

Last weekend while out with friends, I ordered cups of French press coffee. But this I reasoned an opportunity cost rather than a coffee payment: it’s cheaper than alcohol, and saved me unnecessary calories as I continue striving toward my fitness goal.

And yesterday I bought Seattle’s Best for $1 at the supermarket kiosk. I was about to study for my two speeches this Thursday and needed a jolt. That seemed a better option than Coke Zero or sugary foods.

I’m running out of justifications for why I’m still not yet a coffee person. I fear I’m becoming a real adult: buying a house and getting a book published didn't plant me in adulthood, but purchasing coffee would catapult me there. Oh boy, now I need to engage in childish behavior to offset this potential soar in maturity…

Stay tuned for a new bodily function story.