The Things I Do to Spread Love

Tomorrow I'm leaving my apartment at 6:00 a.m. to drive to Leesburg, an hour away, to be the model speaker in a Toastmasters evaluation contest. I spent much of the afternoon and evening preparing for tomorrow's speech. One side effect of my restricted-calorie diet is what I call "foggy-brain," when my mental capacity slows because of a lack of energy. I usually prevent this by eating fruit or nuts throughout the day. But while preparing for my last speech on January 11, foggy-brain consumed me.

To prevent foggy-brain today, I carbo-loaded with a massive lunch consisting of half a Peruvian rotisserie chicken, rice, salad, and a 44-ounce Coke Zero. If this is my "cheat meal" as Tim Ferriss writes, then somebody please sign me up for more damn speeches.

Another side effect of my restricted-calorie diet is a digestive system that is unaccustomed to said meal and subsequently finishes its job faster than a transplant patient following a Jessica Alba visit.

You mean I can eat all that without absorbing the calories? Hooray to cheat meals and faulty digestive systems.

Postscript: I am not bulimic.