The Baby Experiment

I visited my college friend, Barfman, who lives in Annapolis and works at The United States Naval Academy.
United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD
The dormitory looks like mine at UVA, only the opposite
United States Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD

Barfman has a seven-month-old little human, a.k.a. baby boy. I enjoyed spending time with this curious little human. He is intrigued by the world around him, likes to smile, make gibberish sounds, and lick my feet.
Seven-month-old baby plays with dad's leg

Barfman has significant power over how this little human will turn out, and I would like to experiment with it. If we (what, I don't have any say?) decide he should be outgoing, then we let him roam around and hope he doesn't get lost or eaten. If we want him to be a cagefighter then we let him play with toys until he inevitably injures himself, and then reward that behavior with puréed squash and luxurious diapers. This could be so much fun.

When I mentioned how cool it was that he has so much control over his little human, Barfman agreed but added, "In many ways he controls my life."
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The Most Interesting Organ in the World