Dudes of Cancer: Monsieur July

Tom Green

“My bum is on a man/Bum is on a man/It's a lot of fun to put yer bum on a man” said Tom Green in his 1999 hit, “The Bum Bum Song.” That was back during Tom Green’s heyday when he hosted The Tom Green Show on MTV and starred in Road Trip. Tom is now one of those long-forgotten celebrities, though he still makes some TV appearances, hosts a web show, and continues his rapping career.

Rapper? This Canadian-born oddball, who now looks like a cross between Edward Norton and a serial rapist, was a legitimate rapper in the early ‘90s, when his group was nominated for one Canadian rap award and won another. Tom has dabbled with many forms of entertainment, including radio and stand-up comedy. He became highly popular with his MTV shock humor variety show, and even had a brief marriage to Drew Barrymore.

They became engaged around the time Tom was diagnosed with testicular cancer. His illness is considered the reason his MTV show ended, though I believe based on zero factual evidence that it was the fault of Barrymore, who also destroyed all of her own movies post-E.T. (seriously, have you seen Duplex?).

I was concluding treatment for my first cancer when The Tom Green Cancer Special aired, which was a documentary on his time with cancer and his surgery. That showed far too much uncensored nutsack, and also a human side to Tom that most didn’t think existed.

Tom is healthy and cancer-free, and also a single guy with one testicle, which clearly women love and thus negates his sex offender-appearance.